tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1408337029843702255.post9025522131343150339..comments2023-07-10T02:47:48.841-07:00Comments on Sweet and Sour Realism: No Kiss BlogfestRachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11873064463647552733noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1408337029843702255.post-50124345911952052432011-01-07T03:40:06.015-08:002011-01-07T03:40:06.015-08:00Thanks Frankie and Joanna, will definitely revise ...Thanks Frankie and Joanna, will definitely revise the story.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11873064463647552733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1408337029843702255.post-51023339135013257072011-01-06T10:15:07.334-08:002011-01-06T10:15:07.334-08:00hey kiddo! since this is still at the first stage ...hey kiddo! since this is still at the first stage I like it obviously as frankie said u still need to cut out the backstory but I like thisJoanna St. Jameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06180782095853911283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1408337029843702255.post-85462630104152721912011-01-06T05:51:11.524-08:002011-01-06T05:51:11.524-08:00Hey Rachel! Thanks for posting--sorry Im late gett...Hey Rachel! Thanks for posting--sorry Im late getting here! This was really nice. My only suggestion would be to shorten some of the dialogue, in a moment like this, they wouldn't necessarily be speaking in paragraphs and also they are saying exactly how they feel and giving a lot of history--usually people in a convo like this wouldn't be making such blatant references to the past--bc they already know this stuff--so some of that could go to the narrator if it needs to be explained and also people hardly ever say exactly what they're thinking. But otherwise, fab!!Frankie Diane Mallishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06066659801542129040noreply@blogger.com