Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Love/sex scenes from a writer's point of view

I remember when i started writing very amateurishly in my teens and i wrote my first romance book. That book was very controversial in my high/secondary school. Not controversial as in transgender stuff but about hot, raunchy sex between two consenting adults. And i attended a christian boarding school. Can you imagine the sex scenes revolving round a 14 year old girl's brain? It was enough to make a monk smile and say Yee-Ha!!! (Cowboy exclamation).

It's not that i was a corrupt kid. I was this shy and extremely reserved girl with an overactive, throbbing imagination trying to get unleashed with such viciousness. The title was Gritters on your door. I don't know what gritters means even today but i smile when i remember:
My friends teased the hibbie jibbies out of me as the book passed from one skinny hand to the other (we were so skinny, it was unbelievable). Senior students scrambled to have a read of this awesome book. I was never so embarassed in my life as they poked fun of the sex scenes which was a collaboration of ideas i had gotten inspiration from books, movies and sexy female comic characters (Wonder woman, Poison Ivy etc). Yet, that book was hotter than a Mills and Boon sex scene at the time when it was still conservative.

Now, it's a different ball game. My new WIP is a Category Romance. As i sit in front of my laptop, happily orchestrating the rhythm of the alpha male and heroine, through lots of sexual tension and all other intricacies, i get to the part where they make love and i can't help but reminisce on the yesteryears where i might have huddled in a secluded corner to write, lest i get the teasing of my life and be labelled an immoral creature.

I do not feel bad that someone will read my work, infact i am more than happy to share (except my Dad reading it, though) and it's more emotional than some bland fluid mechanical movement like a scene from a porno flick. However, some great tips on creating a sensational love/sex scene (in my view) are:

The scenes must exude love.

The reader must feel the passion.

It must be genuine and go with the flow.

Lots of detail yet not too much in order to stir the reader's imagination (Think of a lady in a sexy one piece swimsuit and one in a sexy teeny weeny bikini. Which would you prefer?)

Dialogue is also important and a little dirty talk is not bad depending on whether its just a simple romance or an erotica.

If as a writer, you don't feel it, it's also very likely that your readers won't feel it.

Before writing any love/sex scene, the chemistry and body language between the main characters is very essential as its supposed to be romance and not a man-soliciting-sex-from-a-prostitute rigid plot.

And please, don't mind these words Love/Sex as they do mean two different things that interchange with each other.

If you're a romance writer, please comment on how easy or difficult it is for you to write your love/sex scenes.


  1. I'm so terrified of writing a sex scene; I think all my characters are going to be practicing abstinence.

  2. You nailed the points down pat.
    What I have found is the more u write, the better all your scenes become.
    There are times however, when that sex scene just is not right. When that happens, I change a pov, or let my cp have a look at it. It's easy for someone not engrossed in the story to see what's not working sometimes.

  3. You girls just hit the hammer on the nail.

    If the sex scene isn't right or comfortable to you, it certainly won't convince the reader.

    Thanks for the comments.

  4. I quite like the 'man soliciting sex form a prostitute' part. Lol. Maybe you should write something about that.
    I always knew there was something sinister about you...


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